Notes on an underwhelming year.

April 2, 2011

its been a year since I moved back to Asheville and I regret it immensely. As it is now that i have a decent job, and no real destination, it looks like I will be stuck here for a while longer. Where does all the time go? I am going to be twenty three years old, and while that may still be young, its not as young as 17 was, obviously.

Stepping back a bit, it has not been the worst year imaginable. I hiked, I camped, I was able to love and be loved. I learned how to make coffee for very picky, snobby people. I am actually impressed with my own cooking ability from time to time.

I do not wake up in strange places with wonderful scenery. I wake to drudgery and claustrophobic mountain ranges. My heart does not soar off to the horizon beckoning me, rather it sits rather immobile in my stomach. Rarely am I filled with love and wonderment of the world around me, or at least not to the degree I feel I should be, because it is all quite amazing. My mind is free of pondering how mollusks interpret music, and replaced with pondering how much money I will have at the end of the month.

I came here to learn a trade, and perhaps do a bit of working before finding something else to do. Its not the right time to cut my losses, but I cannot wait until it is.

I already demand to be constantly challenged by the world. I just need a way to constantly challenge myself.

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